I have a hard time seeing and understanding only one side of an issue, and I usually find this to be more of a challenge than something good. I can listen to both sides of an argument and see the merit of each; the hard part is deciding who is “right.” There are even things I feel very strongly about yet understand the other side, and this is hard for me. Am I incapable of forming my own opinion? Am I weak because I can’t “pick a side?” Should I just accept that I will never be fully accepted by either group?
I work at a place that is very opinionated and, for the most part, fairly liberal. There is an email list called the Underground which is very interesting to be a part of. It’s never been as busy–or as enlightening–as right before the last election, but it carries frequent messages of very strong opinions on “popular” current debatable issues.
I can usually read these opinions–both sides–with a certain amount of emotional detachment. I agree with some and disagree with others. But one thing that is really hard for me to detach from is the topic of how hateful the “religious right” or “those christians” are. Not because I know these people are wrong, but because I can understand why they feel this way.
No one has to look very far to see what they see. There are countless images of Christians holding signs that condemn certain people to hell and copious comments that convey judgment and intolerance. Anyone who doesn’t catch this sort of thing isn’t paying much attention to the world. So much of the world sees Christians as hateful, lacking compassion, judgmental, oblivious, stubborn, unaccepting. This hurts, but can you blame them?
I can’t.
And this is what hurts the most. And I can’t just shrug it off as “well these people are wrong; I’m right; and I don’t care what they think.” Because I see their point. And I recognize that they, too, can appear hateful and judgmental and unwilling to entertain another’s views. And I feel stuck.
“The left mocks the right. The right knows it’s right. Two ugly traits. How far should we go to try to understand each other’s point of view? Maybe the distance grace covered on the cross is a clue.”
–Bono (of U2)
Interesting.. and agreed.
Glad you posted. We should throw this conversation around sometime perhaps.
-Gary
Can you preach for me this Sunday?
-bK
I don’t think it means that you can’t form an opinion. I think it means that you see more than most.
-daralee
that was really well said.
Very thought-provoking, honest and well put.
Here’s my take.
Polarization occurs in the absence of genuine leadership (not just of one side or the other). And frequently a side (thinks it) has to function in the extreme in order to be heard.
Side speech seems to me aimed not at convincing the other side, but at converting the middle and uninitiated. And this kind of convincing/converting speech is, by definition, coercive and manipulative. Speaking its own view to the neglect of the other. Feeling repulsed by it is a sign of health, if you ask me.
When Mike Dukakis was running for President in 1988(?), he was asked, in a debate about his feelings about crime, punishment, the death penalty and the like. To test the limits of his no-death-penalty position, the moderator asked, what if your wife was raped? would you still be against the death penalty?
Although his answer was coherent and he was able to maintain his ideological position, he came across as inhuman and unfeeling – a perception which led him to lose big at the polls. Instinctively, most of us understand that people are more important than positions. But in the thick of the battle of words and ideas, some ideologues forget this.
I think they forget about people when they become full of themselves. People will sometimes inflate themselves with big ideas and strong positions to compensate for feeling small or weak. I though Ted Kennedy showed some balance by what he said at the 1976 Democratic National Convention during his concession speech when it became clear that the party wanted Jimmy Carter and not him. He said, as he ended, “we must always take the issues seriously, but we must never take ourselves too seriously.”
stacie… i have just as many thoughts as dad after reading through all your blog entries (i didn’t know you started this!) but i won’t record every single one here like he did. i love your blog. aj got really sad and emotional when he read “homesick”. and i was like–sucka–you don’t know what CT is like! Jk. He misses home too but in a Washington way. Stacie. Thank you for letting me into your head by making a blog. It helps. TWO WEEKS TWO WEEKS.
i love you, lera